Confessions of a New Mama: Part 1

June 10th, 2011

So it's been a few months and here I am again writing to you. Missed me? No? Well either way I've got a lot to say but for my sanity, your sanity, and the sanity of my new son (who is bound to start crying any moment now and pull me away from my blog) I'll keep it brief. 

As I look back over the last couple of months I've made some interesting observations and come to grips with many things I thought I could control. Everything I thought about caring for a newborn and motherhood in general has been more or less shaped by reality TV shows, Pregnancy and Newborn magazine, and online shopping frenzies (man do they know how to market baby stuff REALLY well). Wish I could pull a Charlie Sheen and say "WINNING" here but I can't.

Confession #1: I took for granted all the sleep I used to enjoy pre-baby. I can't help but LMAO when I think of all the times I whined and said, "Oh I'm so tired, I only got 5 hours of sleep last night..." I now 'enjoy' 2-3 hours of sleep. 4-5 hours? A huge smile forms on my face every time this fantasy re-enters my still-clouded brain. (and yes, I still have the 'pregnancy-stupids')

Confession #2: I forgot for a moment I had a four-legged furry friend named Chloe.  And to imagine I thought I could take on an additional puppy before I had Alec. I think that constitutes admittance to the looney bin. Chloe and I are cool now...but for a minute there I'm pretty sure she was close to placing an ad on Craigslist in the pet adoption section. :( It would've read something like this: 

GOOD LOOKING YELLOW LAB SEEKS ATTENTION. ANY. ATTENTION. RESPOND TO 1616 BLACKSTONE. BRING TREATS.

And finally...

Confession #3: Nothing truly prepared me for this. What I thought I knew about being a mother...all went out the window when I realized that I had to embrace my baby and my new life with the new revelation that well, it's not about me anymore. 

Repeat. It's not about me anymore. 

And I love that.  

Our little Spring Chicken!

April 21, 2011

As many of you already know, Mike and I welcomed our little boy on Saturday, April 9th at 3:53 am. Weighing at 5 lbs. 10 oz. and 19 inches long. Some you might be wondering why it's taken me so long to post this; all I can tell you is that these past 12 days have been a leeeeetle busy. :)

Alec Michael Suomela (adorably nicknamed 'Chicken Little' up until his birthday) was born 6 weeks earlier than expected due some complications with my health at the last minute. I make light of it now but it was no joking matter when my OB/GYN looked me straight in the eye and said in his doctor tone, "We need to deliver your baby. Today." My symptoms were simply really awful headahes...well they felt more like migraines but they were paired with random bright flashes of light in my vision. My OB/GYN did some labs on me as well and didn't like what he saw...onset of preeclampsia. But wait! I'm too early on in the pregnancy to have that. I was only 34 weeks. And I really didn't have high blood pressure. It was my liver enzyme levels that were extremely concerning. So across the street from my OB/GYN's office to Fairview Southdale in Edina I went.

40 hours of trying to deliver naturally we decided it was time to get this little nugget out into the world via C-section. I just wasn't progressing enough on my own but boy did I enjoy the feeling of some nice hefty contractions still as well as that comfortable catheter. Which only 10% of women feel with an epidural. Oh to be an anomaly :)

Not only was I completely looped out on medication since Thursday afternoon but now it was Saturday and they just upped my dose of epidural to prep me for surgery which I took as the green light to start singing Janis Joplin and Motion City Soundtrack songs (http://youtu.be/teljAGRL3UI) and playing music trivia with the anesthesiologist in the operating room. The question I was given was "Who is the male voice in the Carly Simon song, 'You're So Vain'?" (http://youtu.be/OHWrudgCc3Q) I didn't know the answer so one of the doctors YouTubed it during my surgery and we all sang this song out loud! Yes, I remember hearing one of doctors say, "I'll YouTube it!" Talk about your generational verbs. The answer: Mick Jagger.

As it has encompassed my whole life, now so it will be in our son's. Hilarity.

*I'd like to especially thank Rebecca Radtke for making sure I got into the hospital safely. She must have driven 120 mph from work to get there in the record speed she did. I would like to apologize to her arm skin as I'm sure I ripped through it while she braced me during the beginning hours. Thank you to Molly Schutz, Mike's family, my family, and all the L&D nurses who kept me sane even if by a thread for those first couple of days. And of course I owe much gratitude to my amazing husband Mike, who has his own wonderfully funny stories to share and who was a ROCKSTAR throughout the entire process. He made me feel like I could do this any day of the week. I love you.

*Oh and thank you to the Blue Bunny ice cream company for making orange flavored popsicles. A woman in labor can only handle so many ice chips.

Alana's Ultimate Favorite Things 2011 (not unlike Oprah's List)

April 6th, 2011

Okay, so it IS unlike Oprah's Favorite Things because mine is based around my hormonally-imbalanced reactions to items I wouldn't normally find excitement in. Wait, who would agree that Oprah is ALSO a bit hormonally-imbalanced? There's the connection. I knew I'd find it. :)

When I travel for work: Kar's Yogurt Apple Nut Mix & Fiji Water

When I want to feel pretty: Lollia Shea Butter Creme in Imagine

When I need to pack for a trip: Vera Bradley travel line www.verabradley.com

When I want baby shopping bliss: Baby on Grand

When I take out the garbage at home: Glad ForceFlex w/Febreze Odor Shield

When my favorite pants from The Limited don't fit: BeBand from Target

When I want 'fancy' fizzy water: San Pellegrino (with lemon wedges)

When I'm bored & wide awake in the middle of the night: DroidWords

When I want to be pampered: monthly massages and facials at Massage Envy

When I want to indulge in pizza at work: Chanticlear Pizza 

When I need to clear my mind: open windows on a Spring day & take deep breaths 

(That last one you ALL can do. Unless you live in a house without windows, like an igloo. Then "Aang-Aleut" to you and my apologies for having to dogsled wherever you need to go). 


Too much? :)

 

Eyes wide shut

March 16th, 2011

I am annoyed that I have nothing clever to write about lately...because it's impossible to think let alone write when you're half asleep.

I...can't...stay...awake. 

Welcome to week 31.

Ring around the...

March 8th, 2011

...the rosey? The collar? A more applicable answer would be my finger. As I try to pry my wedding band off my swollen and relentless 4th appendage on my left hand on a daily basis, I try to talk myself out of an all-out tear fest...not unlike the one I had when I de-railed this past weekend at Continental Diamond, www.continentaldiamond.com (shameless plug for the most amazing jewelry store in the Twin Cities). Mike and I went there to get our rings cleaned and what is normally a wonderful experience (complete with flattering lighting and Otis Spunkmeyer cookies to nosh on while we wait) turned out to be anything but.

Although I was successful in removing my engagment ring my wedding band wasn't so cooperative. My eyes welled up with tears and my hands started to shake as I realized that I was not able to get the ring to move up even close to my knuckle. Our jeweler, Laurel, at Continental Diamond (shameless plug #2) was already on the defense and tackled my emotional breakdown head-on by complimenting my hair, my skin, telling me my pregnancy looks so great, etc. It was a great diversion for a few moments. Love you Laurel :)

We quickly realized that the ring was not coming off. She kindly advised me NOT to put my engagement ring back until after the pregnancy. Just great...so the big sparkly diamond ring I love so much is forced into sabbatical...just great.

Olive oil. Ice. Windex. Lotion. Jedi mind-tricks. I've tried it all.

Understanding that water retention is a normal part of pregnancy; the embracing hug my ring has on my finger will only get tighter and tighter and I can tell you one thing...I do NOT want any type of saw or cutting tool near my fingers.

I will continue this combat against my mockingly swollen finger until this GD ring comes off. Well at least only in the mornings when I'm least swollen, after I've dipped my finger in ice cold water for 30 minutes, sprayed it down with Windex and held it above my heart. Anything short of attaching it to a big rig and ordering it to be thrown into reverse.

Habitual Line Jumping

March 4th, 2011

Mike and I just went on a "babymoon" in the Dominican Republic last week; a way to take a break from the following:

1. frigid, bone-dry weather here in MN 

    (still not sure how we sustain life here)

2. looming list of to-dos for the upcoming baby

3. dreadful monotony that creeps its way under 

    our skin around this time of year

We immediately immersed ourselves in the culture of our 5-Star Luxruy All-Inclusive private resort in Punta Cana; where the locals dressed like hotel bellmen and professional massage therapists. We found it interesting they all had the same common vision for their village and wore tags on their matching clothing (much like uniforms) that had their names on them; including a denotation that they were in fact from the same blood line of Barcelo. Mike and I, two Gringos from the North, were welcomed with open arms and served a cocktail with pineapple slices. I thought that was a nice touch. :)

It was very apparent to most, save for some of the bright-bulbed Canadian tourists, that I was pregnant and that it would be a solid gesture to offer up any assistance as needed or even allow Mike and I to jump to the front of lines. And there were a LOT of lines...line to check-in, line to eat at the buffets, line to make reservations for dinners, and a line at the bar. I can tell you one thing; waiting in line at the bar for a Batido de Fruta is not a walk in the park. All I want is a friggin banana smoothie con leche!

And calming down...where was I? Oh yes, so because of my obvious 'condition' Mike and I enjoyed a lot of line jumping on our "babymoon" because I guess the general public (again, except for some Canadians) all agree that a pregnant woman should be taken care of first. It's a very empowering feeling, I can tell you that, and I welcomed it every chance it was presented to us. We were able to get a table at a restaurant that was completely full with reservations because of Baby Alec (thank you to the hostesss at La Dolce Vita by the way) and we were pulled to the VERY front of the line to check-in at the airport on our trip back home. Unfortunately Baby Alec couldn't swing complimentary upgrades to first-class for his parents but we thought what the heck and bought them anyway and flew home in style. I can tell you one thing; I don't think there is one person who would argue with a pregnant lady over habitual line jumping. Except that one Canadian...whose Maple Leaf tattoo served as a target for my fist.

First thought to cross my mind; get thee to Pea in the Pod and steal the artificial belly bump used in the dressing rooms for future privileges after Alec arrives. Oh and pray for Canada...for their people know not what they do.

Increasing My Carbon Footprint

February 15th, 2011

So as more and more of our world is focusing on decreasing our carbon footprint by taking more 'green' approaches to everyday life, I seem to be increasing mine. Now, that's not to say I'm not still conscious of eating locally, carpooling, recycling, etc. I'm actually100% behind helping to create and maintain a cleaner more efficient world for our children...and my childrens' children. Because I believe that children are our future. :) (teach them well and let them lead the way)...

Anyway, what I am experiencing right now is literally an increase of my physical footprint. Which I relate to carbon footprint simply because of there is more of me to cover ground on this earth. Please humor me. My once-petite size 7 feet are now an awkwardly squishy and large size 8...wide. 

Nowhere in the books I've read have I come across an illustration paired with an accurate explanation...which would be that I would be that while growing a small human in my body I would also be growing my own set of flippers. Even worse is that unless I wear my ruby red loose-fitting, stocking-stuffer quality slippers to work, the grocery store, or the gym,  I should prepare myself for the vice-grip, locked-in-cement-blocks feeling that my feet feel the minute I put on my beloved pair of Jessica Simpson heels. 

It DOES say in the book(s) that my feet would swell and possibly even grow. Understatement of the millennium. All I know is that if I were to able to illustrate this calamity - this increase of my 'carbon' footprint - it would look somewhat like Scuba Steve from the Adam Sandler movie, Big Daddy...right next to a 'before and after' picture of a "Grow Your Own Dinosaur" Just add water and watch the fun as they grow larger and larger, up to 600% in size!

All squishy, large and water-logged. 

But on the bright side I'm fully equipped to explore schools of exotic fish on my upcoming vacation. :)