Head, shoulders, knees and toes...knees and...whew...toes...

January 31, 2011

While enjoying a nice little Monday night with just myself, my dog Chloe, and House Hunters International on HGTV, I decided that I would 'treat' myself and paint my toenails. 

Now, I could just stop right here because the ridiculous, laugh-inducing images that a pregnant woman trying to paint her own toenails conjures up are certainly already welcoming themselves into your head and unpacking their suitcases for the weekend. 
Go ahead. Smile.

I didn't know such a menial and once-enjoyable task that usually came with such happiness could end up being so involved. OH MY GOD. Here are my rules for painting your toenails while pregnant: (applies to 6 months +)

Rule #1: Expect the unexpected.  Do not expect those sweet, innocent-looking cotton balls to stay in place in between your swollen toes. Prepare yourself with a tweezers to pick the cotton fluffs off the surfaces of your newly painted nails; unless you are going for that "Cottonwood Seeding in The Summer" look. 

Rule #2: Breathe. Unless you are built like Gumby, prepare to have to do some major bending around your belly to get to southern-most point of your body. If you don't breathe into and out of the bending, you'll start to see stars. If this happens, add another 10 minutes of sitting back and relaxing to the process. 

And finally...

Rule #3: Commit early. Pick a color you can live with until you can get your nails done professionally... because this just might be the last time you'll want to do this to yourself. :)

This blogspot brought to you by California Raspberry by OPI, Tweezerman tweezers, and my Yoga classes at Lifetime Fitness. :)

Callback from Juilliard?

January 26th, 2011

Today I finally feel large...but definitely not in charge. Although I wasn't very graceful before, I'm even MORE uncoordinated these days at home, at work, at the grocery store, anywhere that requires me to put one of my feet in front of the other.

I've been taking corners like Mario Andretti, not driving but just walking around. My hips and thighs bear marks of my unwillingness to recognize the few extra inches I need to walk in order to round the corner into my office. My desk corners, however, seem to be holding up just fine.

I'm writing today because the usual feeling of 'cute preggo belly' has sadly changed to a feeling of frumpiness and awkwardness. Needless to say I am still waiting on my callback from Juilliard...but I belive this ballerina has seen her last graceful step.

Dream Weaver...

January 14th, 2011

22 weeks down, 18 still to go! As my belly expands horizontally, along with the other round parts of my 29 year old body, I am finding that it is increasingly more difficult to get OUT of the horizontal position whenever I'm not at work. What I mean is that all I want to do is lie down and SLEEP. With sleep comes dreams...and I've quickly come to realize that dreaming while with-child is VERY different than the 'normal' illogical journeys that dreams tend to take me on.

Kangaroos give birth to their young at 33 days of gestation; the little 'Joey' is only 1/2 inch long. Last night I dreamt that I birthed a teeny tiny kitten; the size of a kangaroo baby. Within a couple of hours it had grown into a full size cat. While I held on to it with loving arms, I was telling my husband how it had his green eyes and my dark hair and that I was sorry because I must have taken the 'animal' pill vs. the 'human' pill when we were trying to conceive. I assured him we would try again right away and that I would be sure to take the right meds. :)

Apart from losing my energy again (thought I had a wee bit more time to enjoy my 2nd wind in this trimester) the only other annoyance is my loss of vocabulary and inability to articulate. My words are falling out of my mouth much faster than previous months (listening to me tell any type of story a few months ago required taking PTO. Just ask anyone). But unfortunately they are in the wrong order and often times on top of one another making me sound like a Chatty Cathy doll on Speed. I'm considering a new career as an Auctioneer.

A Moveable Feast...

January 5, 2011

So far it's been a very uneventful pregnancy, thank goodness! No vomiting or sickness in the 1st trimester, only a few annoying headaches here and there. So thankful for acetaminophen (insert eye roll here). No varicose veins, backaches, etc. My hair has gone from silky and thick to feeling like a stringy, cheap wig from Ragstock to normal and thick again. Thank God Fantastic Sam's offers haircuts for only $12.99 (including shampoo) or I'd be broke.

I've gained weight, of course, but it's starting to all 'even out' now wheras a few months ago I was bloated everywhere. I think even my eyelids were bloated. :) Now it's rally just in my stomach (at least that's what I see when I look in the mirror). I feel proud of my roundness and can often be caught rubbing and patting it with fondness wherever I am. Work, Costco, bars...

I'm sitting at work right now, taking a quick break, and just enjoying my baby boy play around in my tummy. Feels like somersaults and kicks; some so strong that they catch me off guard and make me jump in my chair! Maybe he really liked the leftover Papa Murphy's pizza (pepperoni and green olives for toppings) I just had as a snack. He seems to move around more after I've eaten my favorite things. Pizza, ice cream, swedish meatballs, chocolate (in any form possible) and Chipotle.

Quick shout out to Hemingway...it's a moveable feast...

Don't judge :)